I’m living too many nights crying myself to sleep when I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m feeling so much that my insides want to explode and I want to pull my hair out because when I’m alone I’m numb and when I’m with you I feel it all. I feel the good and the bad but you’re leaving and oh my god, I have no idea what I’m going to do without you. It feels like I know the date you are going to die and I know how you’re going to die and you could have prevented it if I was worth your future but I’m not and I know you’re not the one but I wish you would have just given me a damn thought when you figured out how you were going to leave. You’re going to be gone and I’m left here stuck in a place I hate with people I hate in a life I hate and you were one of the only lights I had. So I cry myself to sleep because I’m preparing for the days when I won’t have you to feel the good and the bad and instead I’ll just feel numb all the time.